Driver appealing a traffic ticket testifies that she has never had ’so much as a parking ticket.’
Judge: “Let me remind you. You raised your right hand. You swore to tell the truth. You’re telling me you’ve never had so much as a parking ticket. Would you like me to go through your entire five-page driving record?’
Driver murmers something stoogey about different kinds of tickets, and leaves the courtroom with tail between legs.
There’s always something to break the monotony of traffic court…
The next driver pled the bladder defense to speeding, and got off.
Posted by AndyCowan on November 4th, 2009 :: Filed under
A Day in the Life,
War StoriesTags ::
CMVI,
not my client
On his Twitter Feed, “Skelly Wright” of Arbitrary and Capricious offers a bit of practical advice:
To teen in court: if you want to beat a [urinalysis] for marijuana, make sure the friend’s urine you’re substituting won’t be positive for opiates.
Oops.
Posted by AndyCowan on May 21st, 2009 :: Filed under
A Day in the Life,
Client Service,
Law for the LaymanTags ::
drugs,
forensic evidence,
law and science,
not my client,
Things that are funny,
things that are wrong
Defense Attorney, during a bail argument:
Judge, he’s charged with possession of burglarious tools. I presume that’s the box cutter. Which is used to cut boxes.
And of course, ipso facto, if it’s used to cut boxes it couldn’t possibly be used as a burglarious tool!
Then again, he said it with such exasperation in his voice, it just might have worked. I wasn’t paying attention when the judge made her ruling.
Posted by AndyCowan on May 18th, 2009 :: Filed under
A Day in the Life,
War StoriesTags ::
bail,
not my client,
overheard in court
For the lay readers: jury nullification is the legal term for when a jury returns a verdict that is contrary to law. For example, if a jury believes that a defendant committed the crime charged, but returns a “not guilty” for some reason that has nothing to do with the law. This is within the jury’s inherent power, because nobody gets to ask a jury why they found the verdict that they did. However, the jury has no “right” to nullify–as far as the law is concerned, the jury is obligated to follow the law. Some judges will even tell the jury, in delightfully circular fashion, “I instruct you to follow my instructions!”
That brings us to the issue how how not to nullify. A Florida juror in a terrorism case was excused from service after telling the other jurors that she refused to deliberate or follow the law. The note from the jury foreperson quoted Juror Number 4 as saying “I don’t believe in the law. I don’t trust the law.” She also called in sick for deliberations on Monday, which defense lawyers thought she was faking. Though she later recanted in open court and said that she had been misquoted about following the law, the judge removed her and put another juror on the panel.
The thing about nullification, see, is that you have to get the whole jury to go along with it. At least with the vote, if not with your private reason. Otherwise, you just get yourself booted off. Though it looks like in this case, that’s what the juror wanted.
Posted by AndyCowan on May 7th, 2009 :: Filed under
In the News,
Law for the LaymanTags ::
jury instructions,
jury nullification,
not my client,
Terrorism
Public urination.
Necessity defense.
Go.
Posted by AndyCowan on May 2nd, 2009 :: Filed under
Client ServiceTags ::
legal theory,
not my client